Why ?

I touched you,
But you pulled away.
I kissed you,
But you pulled away.
I cried to you,
And you walked away.

Where did we go wrong?
What made you stopped loving me?
When I needed you the most,
I couldn't hear your voice.
Is someone keeping you up at night when I'm not there?
Is her smile brighter than mine these days?
Is it her you're now showing all your affections for?
I thought If I gave you everything you would stay.

You lied to me.
Everything you said was a lie.
Why are you now not here to stop my tears?
Where are you now that I need to feel your touch?
Were you a figment of my imagination?

Why do you no longer help me from cutting?
Why aren't you here to stop me from jumping?
From drowning in my sorrows?

You said that you'd never hurt me.
You lied.
Why?

Tears

Tears©

Who’s tears will it be today?
Yours, or mine?
Your tears are like waterfalls.
Mine, are like trickles.
Yours come with sudden outbursts of screams.
While mine, comes with silence.

You cave in and break down with the touch of a hand.
Me, I’ve made my way into the corner to grieve in silence,
I needed, and got no ones touch.

You, you laugh loudly as your tears becomes rivers.
I, I’m still grieving in silence, my tears are still trickles.
While your cries come with escalating volumes,
Your body flails about as your cries becomes one with your screams.
My tears are still trickles, with just enough motion as my body shakes… again, in silence.

See, even in tears I’ve compared mine to yours.
Your tears are more attractive,
While mine are too quiet to notice.
You’ve managed once again to attract everyone with your sounds,
While I, I’m still crying with deep pain.
Too deep to share, but not loud enough for everyone to care.
So, who’s tears will it be today?
I’ll take yours with all it’s beauty, any day.


Farrah Phoenix©
March 27, 2005, 12:04 AM

Heartache

Another cold day in the Big City.
Another heartache I can't recover from.
Another cold shoulder as I stopped to ask a question.
Another person to lash out at me with scorn.

As the winter wind punches my sorrow filled face.
My tears freezes as they poured down my pale brown cheeks.
Another heartache I can't recover from.

I heard you call out to me but it was just my imagination.
I thought I felt your touch as I crossed the street,
But It was only the sleeve of my overcoat.
Another heartache I can't recover from.

It was a cold day in the Big City.
Lovers crammed close together,
Holding each other as if afraid of letting go.
As their Lips pressed tightly together I sighed.
Another heartache yet to get over.

As I go to sleep alone Tonight,
I'll pull the sheets close to my face,
I'll clutch my pillow and cry.
This is one heartache I can't seem to get over.

When?

When did you stop loving me?
Is it because we didn't have the same background?
Is it because I wasn't a blond?
Was it because your friends & family couldn't see pass my darken skin?
When?
When did you stop loving me?
Was it when you saw that girl on the street?
Or was it when I confessed my love to you?
When?
When did you stop loving me?
Was it when I pierced my skin with a sharp object?
I never meant to scare you when I cried
I never meant to kiss you in public
I never meant to be so affectionate towards you
I'm sorry-
So Sorry about you not loving me

Dawn

I thought I had you for a while but then it was dawn.
My pain was of you knowing it was your time to leave me.
I named you for just a short while thinking I would have had
you for a lifetime.
As I clutch my stomach you spoke to me in words I can only understand
"One day I’ll be back again, for good”.
My tears drenched my shirt as my legs became
cripple with pain.
As you clutch to my womb I heard you
say "I can't hold on anymore, but I’ll come back one day".
Now, as I sit here I am thinking of you,
I hope you would come back again so I can hold you in my arms.
You were my own flesh and blood.
As reality sets in, I know that I’ll never forget you.
You would have been my first child, but I hope you'll keep your word that you'll come back, my own flesh and blood.

Until we meet again my first born

Lingering Heart

I yearn for you to be near me.
Along the Watchtower I wait, watching every light that beams for you.
This body expects your touch.
My imagination allows me to feel you even though we're far apart.
I ask of you this one time to take my hand as if it's my heart.
Never let me linger for long, never allow me to stray away from your face.

These places seems familiar, but with each passing day without you, they’ve become strange.
Are you also looking at the same moon?
Can you hear my voice whispering how much I yearn for you?
I've become alone, along the Watchtower I’ve become just another dieing light.

The weather has become blistering cold and I've lost feeling.
As I stand here at this Watchtower, I wait.
A shell of what you remembered.
My heart, like my hand you let astray.
My heart now Lingers away

Twin? or Split Personality?

I've created this blog for the times when the person everyone sees on the outside, is nothing like the inside.. So there will be times when I could post on both blogs hours apart, but both would be different.. Wanna know why? Heck if I know..